Aaaand now that song will be in my head all day.
It’s been a productive morning at work – I checked all my facebook groups, had a peppermint mocha, and plucked my eyebrows. My definition of “productive,” and for that matter, of “work,” isn’t exactly OED material, but it works for me. And my eyebrows look pretty fabulous. So now that the important stuff is out of the way, I have time to think about things like holy shit, my domain is due to be renewed in like, 2 weeks and I have no idea if I’m keeping it or not. It’s not a huge expense, but I AM in the process of getting out of debt (if someone wants to buy my car, that would help me out a bunch) and the money I pay for hosting could go toward that. And I feel like I’m barely using the damn thing these days. Most of my creative juices seem to be going toward eating large amounts of carbs and painting, so I don’t know if it’s even worth bothering.
On the other hand, I don’t know if it would hurt to have a place to vomit all my feelings, either. My parents keep asking me if I’m holding my grief in, and while I don’t think I am (and the box of tissues on my nightstand can attest to that), sometimes the process of writing and editing seems to clear my head a bit. But THAT thought makes me wonder how long people actually want to read about something they’re not actually a part of, and then I wonder if everyone will hate me and if you think I look fat in these pants.
Yes, I’m insane, and yes, I have gained a couple of pounds due to my propensity for finding new ways to shuttle whipped cream to my mouth. Don’t judge me.
(Side note, this is dictionary.com’s definition of propensity.
a natural inclination or tendency: a propensity to drink too much.
So hey, thanks for that, dictionary. What are you trying to say?)
Basically what I’m saying is that I have no idea what I’m doing, but I should really decide soon. On a less crazypants note, I’m feeling surprisingly upbeat about the new year. I’m not sure what’s causing it, because at this point it looks to be veeeery stressful and a LOT of work – 31 credit hours while working full time, oy – but I think it’ll be ok. I mean, the worst possible thing already happened, so it has to get better, right? And I’m finding out just how wonderful my friends really are, and that helps a lot too. If things go the way I hope, the next year will involve lots of traveling, edumacation, screaming about how I don’t WANT to write another paper because I HATE writing papers and why did I major in History if I felt that way, and maaaybe some sort of relationship? Just saying, it would be kind of cool to update my about me for something besides adding another birthday, though adding “FINALLY A FUCKIN COLLEGE GRADUATE” would feel even better. 10 year plan, what what!
And then there was the time I had no way to end a blog because it’s not ABOUT anything and I got distracted watching old videos on youtube. The end?