Blogger Archive

Sneaky announcements and shit

Ok 1) I have GOT to stop adding, “and shit” to things, because then I feel obligated to explain that no, there is no actual shit involved since I’ve only written about it 39 times for past

This will not turn into a “OMG I<3<3<3 my boyfriend sooo much!” kind of blog.

Swear. And no offense to those of you who are like that. Except you suck so whatever, be offended. That being said, I kind of do. I mean, he’s not “officially” my boyfriend, but he pretty much

Dear Hot Homeless Guy

Yeah, you read that right. Hot and homeless in the same sentence. See, there’s this really attractive homeless (I think) guy who hangs around my office all the time. And he’s not hot for a hobo, he’s

New Policy: If you attempt to lick my neck, I will murder you

That’s the new rule around these parts. NO LICKING MY NECK. Bluh. Especially especially especially if I don’t know you, but probably not even if I do because I am not a fan of spit all over

Let’s ban the word “hater”

Seriously. Ban it. KILL IT WITH FIRE! Or at least require a license to use it*, at least for everyone but Courtni, who gets a free pass on this. It seems like lately, everyone wants to blame

Something written by someone else for a change

Ok, I know I promised to continue/finish the Gloria and Janey saga, but I’ve been busy with actual work and stuff, and it’s Rockies opening day and I have beer to drink and baseball to watch. Also,

Gloria and Janey becomes real life

Oh look at me being the worst blogger ever (like this is news to anyone). There have been some new, and potentially scary, developments that just happen to involve my sister and I haven’t had a chance

I wish I never had to write this one

First, here are some facts: 1. I used to be able to hold my liquor. I can’t do it anymore but sometimes I forget that. 2. I went straight to the bar from work, and didn’t eat

I think I’m going crazy. It’s at least a 50-50 chance.

Actually, the chances of me going (being?) crazy are probably a little better than 50-50, but I like even numbers. It’s one of those things I have. Like when I change the volume on the tv, it has to be an

Random topic generator is random

I was bored, and I haven’t pooped my pants lately, so I said, “Self, is there a thing that will suggest blog topics to me?” And then I replied, “I don’t know. Here.” And then I realized