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Music Makes the Nerdballs Come Together

Once upon a time I thought it would be cool to start an all-girl rock band named Liquid Bitch. I thought it would be cool even though I can’t really sing too well or play anything but


So the other night, I was in bed, half-awake, the drool just sliding out of my mouth as I was watching an E! True Hollywood Story on Eminem because I was too fucking out of it to

Quick, children! Run from the inappropriate lady!

So I’m at the park with Avery this morning, hoping I can run her into the ground so that she would take the nap of champions and I could write all afternoon. And then the hordes descended

Back to the gold lame dress for a minute…

This story is important only to me and a few people who lived it, people with my last name. I tell it because there should be a record of my momma’s sacrifice even if it means unleashing


Her lower lip was sticking out in a pout, as if she wanted to be there in that preschool music class, tromping around the room with toy dinosaurs and dancing around with pom-poms to swing music with

Surgery: A reader

New readers of this blog have asked me why my daughter is getting surgery, why she needs so much surgery, that sort of thing. Because I don’t like it when people feel left out — I’m all

The one where she gets all “cap and gown” on her kid

After repeated run-ins with my evil genius, I have come to believe that if I don’t do something soon to enhance the enrichment she already receives, that she could wind up on the State Department’s watch list

Tots gone Wild

I am stupid right now. Avery went for her tenth surgery this morning. And when we woke her up for the blessed event, she was none too pleased. As a matter of fact, our barely 20-pound child

Lesson of the Day

Real friends fish your kid’s plastic Elmo out of the street. Why do I say this? I’ve written about Avery’s penchant for traveling around town with half her toy box. Tonight was one of her finer moments,

Capcana gandaci lipici

Motivul aparitiei gandacilor in apartamente, case la curte, institutii, firme private, sedii diferite etc., este cel mai adesea prezenta unui jgheab de gunoi, nerespectarea normelor de colectare a gunoiului si a deseurilor din magazine cu produse alimentare