Blogger Archive

New Policy: If you attempt to lick my neck, I will murder you

That’s the new rule around these parts. NO LICKING MY NECK. Bluh. Especially especially especially if I don’t know you, but probably not even if I do because I am not a fan of spit all over

Let’s ban the word “hater”

Seriously. Ban it. KILL IT WITH FIRE! Or at least require a license to use it*, at least for everyone but Courtni, who gets a free pass on this. It seems like lately, everyone wants to blame

Something written by someone else for a change

Ok, I know I promised to continue/finish the Gloria and Janey saga, but I’ve been busy with actual work and stuff, and it’s Rockies opening day and I have beer to drink and baseball to watch. Also,

Gloria and Janey becomes real life

Oh look at me being the worst blogger ever (like this is news to anyone). There have been some new, and potentially scary, developments that just happen to involve my sister and I haven’t had a chance

I wish I never had to write this one

First, here are some facts: 1. I used to be able to hold my liquor. I can’t do it anymore but sometimes I forget that. 2. I went straight to the bar from work, and didn’t eat

I think I’m going crazy. It’s at least a 50-50 chance.

Actually, the chances of me going (being?) crazy are probably a little better than 50-50, but I like even numbers. It’s one of those things I have. Like when I change the volume on the tv, it has to be an

Random topic generator is random

I was bored, and I haven’t pooped my pants lately, so I said, “Self, is there a thing that will suggest blog topics to me?” And then I replied, “I don’t know. Here.” And then I realized

Some Things About Which I Will Now Tell You

That title just sounds fancier than “Some shit’s been happening so I thought I’d write about it or something.” I’m FANCY. In my pantsy. Wow, that sounds sissy as hell. I ain’t a sissy. I will punch

You’re Pretty Much Going to Hell if You Don’t Read This

So we all know how much I don’t like kids, right? Bleh, kids. But then they go and get cancer and I can’t hate them anymore because they’re just little and full of cancer and that totally

I have a blog? Seriously? Cause I totally forgot.

Logging in today felt really weird. It’s only been a couple of weeks since I last blogged but I almost felt like when I log in to myspace to get pictures of my ex for a facebook