Logging in today felt really weird. It’s only been a couple of weeks since I last blogged but I almost felt like when I log in to myspace to get pictures of my ex for a facebook profile dedicated to douchebags, which has totally never happened at all. You know, sort of strange like maybe you really shouldn’t be doing it. I don’t know. My inspiration is just…gone.
I don’t know if it’s the season – between my desire to hibernate with a pot pie or two or 106 and trying to get all of my Christmas stuff taken care of as soon as possible, my brain is a little fried. The boy and I are also in the very early stages of a relationship that has the potential to be very good but we still have some issues that we need to work through. I’m struggling with it a little, because a) it’s been a very long time since I had a relationship with someone who was worth being with and b) I put him up on this pedestal as “the one who got away” and I’ve spent the last year regretting that, but now that we’re together again, I’m realizing that ::gasp:: he has plenty of his own flaws that I need to accept if we’re going to make this work.
On the plus side, I feel like I’m doing something (someone?) worthwhile for the first time in a long time. We’ll see what happens next month when I start school again and he’s away snowboarding every second he can, but I’m hoping we can do this. I’ll try to get past the times when he gets so stoned he can’t remember what we were talking about for oh, 2 seconds, and maybe he’ll learn that I don’t want to cuddle when I’m sleeping and stop taking it so personally.
In other news, I’m incredibly depressed about the fact that I can’t afford to come to DC for New Years. It sounds dumb but it makes me cry a little bit when I think about it. I just kind of feel like it’s where I should be, and Mandy and I have been trying to think of ways for me to come up with $300 and it just isn’t happening. Once I get paid, I could afford it but since I don’t get paid until New Years friggin Eve, I don’t see that happening. Anyone want to lend me like, $150? No? Sigh. I miss you guys.
Anyway, I’m working on getting the old mojo back (starting with never saying the word “mojo” again) so maybe I’ll be around some more. Maybe the boy will do something hilarious or awful instead of just being generally pretty good, but boring as shit. God, doesn’t he know I have a blog?