I think I’m going crazy. It’s at least a 50-50 chance.

Actually, the chances of me going (being?) crazy are probably a little better than 50-50, but I like even numbers. It’s one of those things I have. Like when I change the volume on the tv, it has to be an even number, unless it’s 25. It can be 25; in fact, 25 is preferable, but 23 makes me twitch. Except that I like the number 47, too. When I’m hyperbolizing (is that even a word?) something, I tend to go with 47. As in, “I told you 47 times,” or, “Jeez, that girl’s wearing like, 47 inch heels.” I can’t explain it.

Other examples of me losing my damn mind:

  • I brought fruit for a potluck at work. Trust me, if you’ve seen my coworkers, you’d understand what makes this a) futile and b) completely fucking nuts.
  • I pull out my hair. Actually, that’s not crazy, that’s just an impulse control disorder, damnit, and it’s not like I eat it or anything, so I consider myself lucky on the trich spectrum. It’s scary how accurate that entry is in describing me though. Ponytails are my friend.
  • I wake up fairly often thinking there are spiders in my bed. Even though I knowthere aren’t, and that it was a dream, I still have to turn on the lights, pull back all the covers layer by layer, and make sure. It’s not even a fear of spiders, really, it’s just that I can’t convince myself that a dream is just a dream. I have this feeling that it will turn into reality if I’m not thorough enough.
  • Along the same lines, I woke up at 4 this morning and I swear. to. god. there was a man walking across my basement with 2 cups of water. He stopped at my bed and held one out to me. It wasn’t…scary, necessarily. More disconcerting. So then I had to turn on the lights and make sure he wasn’t really there. And then I drank out of the cup of water that’s been sitting on my nightstand for like, 4 days. Ew. (In case you’re wondering, the water is the crazy part. I would normally never drink that…)
  • I forgot to shower today. It’s not that I woke up late and didn’t have time. I genuinely forgot, like showering is an optional part of hygiene or something. It wasn’t until I was changing from my pajamas to jeans and noticed that I was still wearing the same underwear as yesterday, that I realized I definitely didn’t wash my ass this morning. I got plenty of sleep, I’m not hungover, I wasn’t rushing around late, I just forgot. Unfortunately, by that time, it was too late, so I changed my underwear, threw on deodorant, and left. Who does that?
  • I would never buy a Mac. Hahahahahah just joking, that’s not crazy, that’s good sense. Only my Mac friends claim I’m nuts.

Anyway, I don’t know what I was really talking about here. I started reading an article about my (our) generation and now I’m singing the theme song to Boy Meets World and thinking nostalgically about playing red light green light in the middle of the street. Does anyone want to come over and play that with me? Or red rover maybe?

Forgot to mention, in addition to being crazy, I’m also a little A.D.D….