So the other night, I was in bed, half-awake, the drool just sliding out of my mouth as I was watching an E! True Hollywood Story on Eminem because I was too fucking out of it to change the channel to PBS, or The History Channel or something similarly stimulating like porn.

Mind you, I’m not a big TV-watcher or Eminem fan or pornophile or anything like that. But for some reason, there I was the other night in my near-comatose state, just sucked into this idea of having an alter ego like Eminem’s Slim Shady, who is a slightly crazy dude, if you ask me. But that slightly crazy dude schtick kinda worked for Eminem, so I began to wonder if I should adopt an alter ego of some sort to bolster my critical acclaim.

Quiet writer chick who’s veering toward MILF-ish, but too still busty for her gold lame dress isn’t getting it for me right now, as true as it may be. And since slut is taken, geek is too, and world-class neurotic is out of the question, what does that leave me?

I don’t know.

And so, fair readership, I’m turning to you for suggestions on a temporary alter ego to try on for size. You can pick my name, my attitude, anything you like. Just have a little fun with it. If I like it, I’ll write in that voice for a week.