It’s Difficult to Offend Me But…

Last night, someone succeeded in spectacular fashion. How? By being offended by me. I’m sure many of you saw the interchange, or at least parts of it on Twitter.

I posted that right after I got cut off. Then the person who cut me off proceeded to go 10 miles under the speed limit while weaving. When I passed the car, it was an Asian woman. I didn’t make her drive like an asshole, I just observed it. Just like I observed an elderly Asian man swerve into my lane driving to work Monday morning.* Regardless, it wasn’t meant to be a serious commentary on Asian culture. I mean, shit, it’s twitter. People who take it that seriously need to re-lax.

But apparently someone who follows Brian saw a link to my twitter from his page and that was the first tweet of mine she saw. She tweeted back to him that I’m “blatantly racist against Asians.” Um seriously? There are a lot of things that will make me hate someone (stupidity, overreacting, popped collars) but race isn’t one of those things. So yes, I was offended. How dare someone who doesn’t know me judge my character on 140 characters or less. At that point, I should have just ignored her.** However, in my family racism is a BIG deal and a very serious accusation. I have a really hard time allowing someone to believe something so repugnant about me. So I responded.

What followed was a very long string of tweets of this person taking offense at my original statement, the fact that I didn’t immediately apologize, the fact that I don’t consider my original tweet racist, etc etc. She asked if I would feel differently if someone said “All black people are (stupid, etc).” My question is when was it ever a stereotype that black people are stupid? That would have been the last example I would have thought of but maybe that’s just me. Also, I learned that “Asian people don’t stand up for themselves,” and that Mexicans can’t read. I don’t think I even need to discuss the stupidity of that last sentence.

I could write a book about this issue, but I won’t. So here are some points I’d like to make quickly.

1. Dear tweeter who I’m not linking because I don’t care – Fuck you. Seriously. You don’t know me, and you made assumptions about me based on one tweet. I’m going to guess that if I didn’t have a picture up showing that I was white, you might not have been so offended. What if I WAS Asian? Because I have several Asian friends who’ve made plenty of jokes about their own driving abilities – would you have ripped them a new asshole? Doubt it. I think you have several issues, including zero sense of humor and not recognizing sarcasm. Should I have started making jokes that are deliberately obnoxious? No, but only because it was immature, not because I seriously meant that Pearl Harbor was an example of Asians “standing up for themselves.”

2. I walked out of Christmas dinner several years ago when my uncle made the “joke” that (and honestly, it bothers me to type this) “Black people are great. Everyone should own one.” I haven’t seen that side of my family since, and they used to be some of my favorites. I don’t tolerate genuine hate. I just fucking don’t. I’ve cut people out of my life in a heartbeat, regardless of blood, if they pull that shit. Am I PC? No. Not usually because it’s boring, but I don’t give a crap if someone is a different race, handicapped, a different religion, whatever. Do your thing.

3. While I don’t think that pulling out the “I have ____ friends, that means I’m not prejudiced” thing is kind of lame, um I DO. I have friends of all different races. I have Christian friends, Buddhist friends, Muslim friends, and so on. I look at it as an opportunity to learn, and in one case, eat some bomb Chinese food at her mom’s restaurant. Om nom nom.

Fuck, now we’re running into the same problem as last night. I’m craving egg rolls with none in sight.

4. Last, but not least, tweeter I’m still not linking, submitting my original tweet to what appears to be a bunch of random Asian tweets is really fucking weird and clearly a desperate bid to get someone more important offended. So far, it doesn’t appear to be working. Go away now.

Ok, now that that’s off my chest, I feel slightly better. Sorry for the seriousness. Mandy posted one that’s funnier. Go read that one.

*Maybe because he was old. Old people, amirite?
**Actually, I’m not sure that the person was a her but for the purposes of this blog, I’ll go with it.