I was bored, and I haven’t pooped my pants lately, so I said, “Self, is there a thing that will suggest blog topics to me?” And then I replied, “I don’t know. Here.” And then I realized I was talking to myself, so I just googled it, and there IS. Here are some of the topics it suggested:
The Geneva Convention – My babysitter was named Geneva when I was little. She let us watch soaps and play Super Nintendo, but only for a certain amount of time. Once, she made my sister eat peas in spite of my siste’r’s objections, and she projectile vomitted them. Geneva’s backyard is where I learned all the best curse words and the lyrics to Jump by Kris Kross (hint, it’s mostly just “JUMP JUMP!”) Probably not what the topic generator had in mind, but that’s ok.
The evolution of religion – The fuck? That’s a topic for a dissertation, or an encyclopedia. Next.
Poodles are fun things – Disagree. My friend has one, and he’s kind of a douche. The poodle, not my friend. Also, they’re ugly.
Effects of not having breakfast – I get real pissy. The end.
Favorite baseball player in the year 2000 – Um…I have nothing. My only contact with baseball in 2000 was working at Coors Field making hot dogs (vomit) to raise money for cheerleading uniforms. Have you ever opened a bag of popcorn before you cooked it and seen the yellowish orange chunks of “butter”? Yeah, the hot dogs come covered in that. We had a bucket on the floor to pour the grease off the trays when they were cooked. SANITARY!
Favorite video game platform as a kid – Nintendo. Bam. If anyone answers this differently, you just get out of my face forever.
Damn, this generator hates me. It’s all “Einstein’s early life,” “the anatomy of a water molecule,” “uranium bomb,” “It’s like we know you majored in history so we’re giving you a bunch of science questions, dumbass!” I want a new generator. I SAID GOOD DAY!
Totally random ending that has nothing to do with this shit ass excuse for a blog – I dislike my header and it’s pretty much just there until I think of something better, but so far, no luck. Sooo if anyone has any suggestions, please to tell me?