Tots gone Wild

I am stupid right now.

Avery went for her tenth surgery this morning.

And when we woke her up for the blessed event, she was none too pleased. As a matter of fact, our barely 20-pound child threw down something fierce, an Angelina-Jolie-in-“Girl Interrupted”-style fit that straitjackets couldn’t even contain. It took the two of us to wrestle her into some clothes, and truth be told the two of us almost lost the fight.

Scrappy little thing, that Avery is. Super duper scrappy…

Oy.

Happy that we got through this early morning dressing episode, we showed up at the children’s hospital around sevenish, only to get a lecture from the anesthesiologist about how Avery is getting to the age where she’s going to remember a lot of this even if she’s put under. And so, with that said, he said we might want to consider goosing her pre-anesthesia codeine with a little something-something that will give her temporary amnesia, otherwise she could go wild post-surgery.

“She’s gone wild after surgery many times before,” I told him as I sipped on my Grande Americano that should have been Venti. “How would this be any different?”

He says she could go even wilder.

Fast-forwarding through visions of my little one at her wildest, I thought “Well, that could make for a very long Thursday,” then asked “What are the side-effects of this drug, then?”

He said “Well…they do tend to get a little wild.”

So either way you cut it, there’s the possibility of wildness, but the doctor is throwing the drugs out there like a stranger with candy.

Come on, maaaan…take it…it’ll make you feeeeel good. It’ll make you forget!!!

On her behalf, I just said no. The hubs went back to the operating room with her, watched them put her under and that was that. She came out of surgery fussy, but by no means was she any crazier than usual.

Post-surgery, she has been pretty normal, this early morning episode aside. As I type these words, she’s sitting on the floor coloring and humming to herself with her feet poked through the front door of a Little People playhouse.

Tots gone wild, indeed.